Fifty Shades of Grey Review

fifty shades

By Callum Sharp and Rob Henderson

 

All judgement aside, we were warned before Fifty Shades of Grey that “there is apparently no boob in this movie”. Our source was wrong.

 

In the depths of Christian Grey’s ‘playroom’ lurk some atrocities that no viewer should ever lay their eyes upon, Fifty Shades of Grey is possibly the worst film of 2015 despite its definite hype. The occasional noteworthy performance did nothing to assert the directive skills of Sam Taylor–Johnson or the story, which was hailed for its empowering themes and ground-breaking characterisation. It was a complete flop, unlike Mr Grey’s you know what.

 

Some scenes were just too hairy to handle, including the horrendous close up of Mr Grey’s failure to trim, while others awkwardly unfolded; leaving the audience laughing, mocking and practically jeering at the lame excuse for soft-core porn. This is the problem, Fifty Shades of Grey was far too vanilla and although Taylor-Johnson’s blend of romance and erotica were intended for a watchable feature, this rendition of the novel fell short at its first hurdle. Yes there’s nudity and yes there’s adult content but the sex sucked and wasn’t that the whole point? What’s most disturbing was the lack of sincerity towards the core themes of the story. Although it’s clear that Taylor-Johnson is making an effort to promote the equality of the female body, Fifty Shades of Grey is two hours of a man sexually and mentally dominating a young woman, making for many disrespectful and uncomfortable scenes. You begin to question, where is the empowerment?

 

Talking of disturbing, Mr Grey’s unsettling ‘playroom/batcave’ would surely have any woman running for the hills because rather than cape and cowl, Christian seems to have a slight interest in outlandish leather fineries; consisting of whips, ropes and all things cuffed-up. Besides this, what’s the deal with Miss Steel’s phone? We know she must be distanced from the extravagant world of billionaire Mr Grey but the constant shots of her ancient flip-phone question the director’s lack of attention, or just highlight LG’s worst product placement campaign since, well, ever.

 

To give credit to Fifty… there are some positive aspects to the movie. The brooding soundtrack features the haunting voices of Ellie Goulding and Beyoncé, which add to the highly polished production and the attention to classy detail. Amongst the ridiculous lines like “Fifty Shades of F****d up” (to which half the audience groaned with dissatisfaction), the pitiful demonstration of severe whipping and over-use of chap-stick ridden lips, we just can’t help but want to see more. Left on a notably intense cliff-hanger, Fifty Shades of Grey is possibly the best film of 2015, hormonal right?

 

Latitude Lookout watched Fifty Shades of Grey at Greenwich Picturehouse. Lookout for their Student deals including their weekly Under 24, £4 offer and their £10 student membership (includes 2 Free Tickets!)

Find more information at their website, www.greenwich.picturehouse.com