Seventh Son Review

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By Georgi Bonev

Nothing can save this film from entering the worst-movie charts of the year – not even its Oscar-winner cast.

 

Unlike Sergey Bodrov’s 2007 biography drama Mongol, which was a breath of fresh air, his latest movie, Seventh Son is plain, dull and painfully torturous to watch; a witch-hunting fantasy saga, which ultimately fails to entertain and excite its viewers on every conceivable level.

 

Based on Joseph Delaney’s novel “The Spook’s Apprentice”, Seventh Son tells the tale of the forever grumpy, lisping, booze-loving, witch-hunting knight Master Gregory (The Spook), played by Jeff Bridges, and his young half-hearted apprentice, the seventh son of the seventh son, Tom Ward (Ben Barnes). They fight against the evil spirits and the witches, led by the fierce, shape-shifting witch Mother Malkin (Julianne Moore). Malkin must be stopped before the fast-approaching Blood Moon, which will make her invincible and cloak the world in darkness.

 

Bodrov’s Seventh Son is a huge failure for the undoubtedly gifted “The Big Lebowski” duo, which is far from its best (especially Bridges). You almost get the feeling that “The Dude”, as JB is also known as, isn’t taking this seriously at all. His lisping can’t simply be overlooked when you struggle to understand half of the things he says (imagine your grandfather without his dental prosthesis). This leaves you wondering how exactly did the director picture Delaney’s character and what were his instructions to Bridges. Not much can be said about Moore’s performance, as she appears mostly in her giant lizard form, thus the scenes are predominantly CGI (Computer-generated imagery).

 

In a movie like this, the least you expect to see are some eye-catching digital effects and descent Game of Thrones-like fighting scenes. Unfortunately, this is yet another downfall for Bodrov. Seventh Son stalled in post-production for some time, which probably explains why the use of digital effects is way too ambitious and its primal role is to compensate for all the other weaknesses of this liveliness-lacking hodgepodge. As for the sword-fighting scenes, they are very short, not well thought out and definitely unpleasant for the eye.

 

Overall, this proves to be another one of Hollywood’s failed attempts to successfully adapt a critically acclaimed novel. Seventh Son falls in the column of “time-wasting, brainless movies.” Nevertheless, if you are a fan of Dracula Untold and Hercules then please have a go at this one.